I’m flying to the US this afternoon. I’m going to try to smuggle a jar of Nivea cream on board. Then, half-way through the flight I’m going to stand up and scream, “Look out! There’s a balm on board. Salve yourselves! Aarrrggh!”
Ooh, my sides! The other passengers will probably soil themselves with fear! And technically I won't have done anything illegal, if I really do have a balm.
The airlines have brought this on themselves. If they're not going to let us take books, we'll have to make our own entertainment. I’ll see you on News at Ten.
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