Had a bit of a cheese and wine evening the other night for a few friends, only I didn’t have any cheese or wine, or friends. So I had a beer and porridge party on my own. It was a great success.
Later I spent an improving couple of hours in an 'executive bar' of almost the maximum seediness. I was sitting there, minding my own beeswax, when this woman comes up and asks if I want to sleep with her. 'Um, OK,' I said. 'Shall we have a conversation first?'
I thought it was too good to be true, and it was: she was a prostitute (or 'ho', as we say in the Thames Valley). And thinking about it, she’d hardly want to sleep me otherwise, would she? Why, the notion is absurd.
But here’s the twist. She was black, and when I explained to her that I was on an economy drive and that I had changed my mind about knobbing her, she accused me of racial prejudice!
What the hell is wrong with everyone these days? I often think I’m the only sane one left. Mnrragh! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the park to throw golf balls at cyclists.
Is golf a necessary evil, like hos? On second thoughts, forget that. That was a dumb question.
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