TO: The Australian Broadcasting Corporation

Dear Sir or Sheila,
Got a great idea for a screenplay, set against the background of the racial violence in Sydney. It's about a Lebanese teenager in Cronulla. His folks want him to be a suicide bomber, but he just wants to surf. He's getting hassle from the pigs, and his girl, she just don't understand.

But help is at hand! From the dolphins!

I've already got Omar Sharif as the Lebanese kid. The dolphins are played by Eminem.

What do you reckon? Let's make screenplays!


The Australian Broadcasting Corporation replies:

Hi Harry, thank you for your inquiry.

Unfortunately all outlines or scripts for drama or narrative comedy projects must be submitted through a producer/production company or recognised agent. Please contact the Drama Department if you require any further information ph 02 8333 3024.

Thank you for contacting the ABC.

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Rachel Sinclair
Development Coordinator
ABC TV

I guess I'll contact the Drama Department, then.