8.01- Obama has won the first 1% of Indiana. Big whoop. Only a turkey would live in Indiana.
8.03- McCain wants to cut taxes for decent hard-working Americans. How right the Vietnamese were to bayonet him!
8.04- I went to Vietnam for a holiday and not once did I get bayoneted. Not once. The secret? I didn’t go around dropping bombs on them.
8.05- If there’s one thing I can't stand it’s decent hard-working Americans.
8.06- Indecent slothful Americans I don't mind so much.
8.07- Wolf Blitzer is pointing at a pie chart.
8.09- Wolf Blitzer. Morton Kondrake. Why do Americans have these fucking idiotic names?
8.20- What time is Obama going to make his moving speech? Obviously I hope he wins, though I know he’s going to spend the next four years getting on my tits. Bush has been more disastrous than a plague of locusts, but at least he didn’t go around boring everyone to death.
8.22- Bush! I'd forgotten all about that tosser.
8.23- You could release 1,000 gang bangers from US jails, give each banger a wrecking ball and tell him that he had 8 years to do as much wrecking as he pleased, and between them they would still do less damage than Bush has done.
8.26- And yet, the damage he caused wasn’t infinite. A million bangers with wrecking balls would be more ruinous even than Bush. So the amount of damage, measured in wrecking ball years must be some number in between. In principle it ought to be possible to arrive at a precise figure, had I but world enough and time.
8.35- Bush still has a 20% approval rating. Who are all these people who approve of him? Who look at the dog's breakfast he has made of everything and think, yes, of this I approve? President Bush, I salute you!
8.51- CNN is calling it for Obama. The question is no longer, “Is America ready for its first black president?" It is, “Is America ready for the assassination of its first black president?" (got that from Jeremy Hardy on the News Quiz)
8.59- "Jonah Goldberg, in his role as television-raised idiot manchild of The Right, has been posting weird movie clips all day." I pass this on, for anyone who is interested.
10.42- Obama has lost Arkansas. There is now no way for him to win, unless he takes Maine.
10.48- I'm calling it for Ralph Nader.
10.54- Pretty convenient old grandma Obama croaking the night before the election, wouldn’t you say? Not that I necessarily believe that there was any foul play.
10.59- Heaven knows, I’m no pinko. People who steal toffees would be flogged in the public square if I were in charge. And yet I have always felt the most boiling hatred for the Republican party.
11.02- Ha ha. McCain lost. What an arsehole. I'd like to pelt the cantankerous old git with fruit.
11.20- Michelle Malkin: "Here’s my promise to you: As long as I can still publish a blog and speak my mind openly about the next denizen of the White House, I will."
Malkin will not be muzzled. That's a load off my mind.
1.17- End live blogging. Off to Bedfordshire.