I eventually decided against signing the John Doe manifesto, on the grounds that I would rather plunge my head into boiling chip fat. It’s based on the idea that to defeat the terrorists, we have to go around with a stupid solemn expression saying, “I am John Doe”.

I am on your street. I am in your subway car. I am on your lift. I am your neighbor. I am your customer. I am your classmate. I am your boss.

I am John Doe.

Fucking bunch of half-wits. Anyway, here’s another one, since the way I figure, the more the manifestos the less terrorism:

I am famous for metaphysical poetry. I was vicar of St. Dunstan's-in-the-West. My works employ paradoxes, puns, and subtle yet remarkable analogies.

No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe.

I am John Donne.

Send it to your MP and demand to know what he plans to do about John Donne.