A couple of months ago a group of us were hiking in the Australian outback when this twerp from CNN comes up, and starts asking a lot of imbecile questions about “the voices and experiences that shaped your country's rich history.”

So we put on comedy Australian accents and filled his head with a lot of nonsense about wombats and billabongs. “Got any tinnies on ya, ya mongrel? I’m drier than a dingo’s ballbag in this heat.” Etc.

I had forgotten all about the incident, until I found his report on the CNN web page just now:

“Take your togs or cossies, your esky packed with amber fluid and maybe a dog's eye for a snack. Bend the elbow too much? Stop off for a long black, a short black or a flat white to make sure you don't end up a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock.”

I made this up myself. It means nothing in any language.


Australia. These jumping rat things give me the creeps.