I'm sorry, but there's nothing remotely funny about the Vice President of the United States shooting an old codger in the face after mistaking him for a quail. Media guttersnipes. They think they can distract us from a record trade deficit with idiotic stories about people Dick Cheney has shot.
Look, nobody normal is going to object if the he mows down a few lawyers from time to time. If the Vice President feels the need to let off steam by shooting his friends in the face, that is surely a matter for him. It's better than bottling it up, and if he can help keep the lawyer population under control he’ll be doing something useful for once in his worthless life. But what kind of bloodthirsty ghoul wants to spend his leisure hours massacring quails? Not even normal quails, mark you, but special slow wheezing quails, bred for feeble-mindedness, that stand there looking confused as you blast them at point-blank range. Of 500 birds they managed to annihilate 417: that isn’t a hunt, it’s a fucking pogrom. I guess that in those lawyer / Vice President circles the concept of a "sporting chance" doesn't really compute.
Walking around eating seeds and saying "cheep" isn’t much of a life, but to many quails it’s the only life they know, and the decision to end it should not be Dick Cheney’s. Lawyers are another matter, of course. I’ve often thought of going out and hunting them myself. Quite apart from the sport, it would be in the public interest. On the other hand, what have the public ever done for me?
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