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Smokers die younger than oak trees.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
ALL TOBACCONISTS ARE FASCISTS
Just went through the leaked BNP membership list to check if my local tobacconist was on it. He wasn't, but I came across this guy:
Rev John StantonThere are apparently eleven BNP members in my constituency, including four student documentary-makers, two undercover reporters, one police spy, two anti-fascist campaigners, and two actual fascists.
Rochford
Essex
Activist. Ex-Conservative and then Lib-Dem councillor, ex-chairman of local Green Party and UKIP member. Minister of Religion. Cert. Ed. Hobbies: steam railways
Monday, October 19, 2009
THE SLAPPERS IN CLOSETS ARE COMING HOME TO ROOST
Shakira’s new video She Wolf is as subtle and rich in meaning as a Garcia Marquez novel, but I’m afraid that, like a Garcia Marquez novel, a lot of it went over my head.
For example, that glistening pink cavern she dances around is obviously a metaphor for something. But what?
“There’s a she-wolf in the closet...”
In Colombia, a she wolf –una loba- is a woman of easy virtue, a slapper. “There’s a slapper in the closet.” This is excellent news, if true, even if it’s only a metaphorical slapper in the closet of life type of situation.
Cultured Dan, an appalling oaf in my office, argued that this song “mucho sucks”, but said that, despite this, he would be prepared to give the pint-sized Colombian crooner one up the gary, if called upon to do so.
Peals before swine. See what I have to put up with?
For example, that glistening pink cavern she dances around is obviously a metaphor for something. But what?
“There’s a she-wolf in the closet...”
In Colombia, a she wolf –una loba- is a woman of easy virtue, a slapper. “There’s a slapper in the closet.” This is excellent news, if true, even if it’s only a metaphorical slapper in the closet of life type of situation.
Cultured Dan, an appalling oaf in my office, argued that this song “mucho sucks”, but said that, despite this, he would be prepared to give the pint-sized Colombian crooner one up the gary, if called upon to do so.
Peals before swine. See what I have to put up with?
Monday, October 5, 2009
To Berlin, for the opening of Wolfgang's Waffle Bar in Potsdamer Platz. On the way back to the hotel I ran into a demonstration against nuclear power, and, not having anything more pressing to do, walked along with it for a while.
Germany has never been known as the land of the friendly policeman, but they are charm itself compared to ours. No scowling fluorescent apes with clubs, no “intelligence” teams pointing telephoto lenses at you, no helicopters or sirens, no officious twerps searching people. All my experience of cops in recent years has been in banana republics like England and Colombia, where the police hate the public and the public hate the police. I had forgotten what a non-malevolent Western democracy feels like.
I soon got bored, though.
Germany has never been known as the land of the friendly policeman, but they are charm itself compared to ours. No scowling fluorescent apes with clubs, no “intelligence” teams pointing telephoto lenses at you, no helicopters or sirens, no officious twerps searching people. All my experience of cops in recent years has been in banana republics like England and Colombia, where the police hate the public and the public hate the police. I had forgotten what a non-malevolent Western democracy feels like.
I soon got bored, though.
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