BLAIR MUST HANG

Interesting piece in The Times about what Bomber Blair is up to these days. As you know, my campaign to have him hanged has yet to bear fruit, though these are early days, and after he resigned as PM he started looking around for new ways of “making the world a better place”.

The UN, the European Union, the United States and Russia appointed him Peace Envoy for the Middle East, and within a few months the locals were tearing each other limb from limb, much as I expected.

How did he do it? “I was on the phone to the Arabs, the Americans and the Israelis and the Americans the whole time,” he explains.

Even by his own standards, he has done a marvellous job as Peace Envoy. Really first-class.

In January 2008, J P Morgan Chase took him on as an advisor, plunging the bank into a crisis from which it may not recover. “Our firm will benefit greatly from his knowledge and experience", they said. Over the next year the share price halved and profits plunged by more than 80%, much as I expected.

Now he’s helping to modernise Rwanda. Woe to that land that appoints Blair to modernise it! His normal way of expressing concern is to send the RAF to destroy their infrastructure. I don’t know what precise form the catastrophe in Rwanda will take –could be genocide, could be a plague of frogs- but it will come. And if the Americans ever ask his advice on resolving the financial crisis he may yet succeed in ruining us all.

I honestly believe him to be insane. And the fact that this very dangerous lunatic is still poking his nose into the Middle East shows that Blair remains one of the most serious threats to our national security, and that his arrest and execution should be matters of the highest priority.



Fucking nutcase.

SNOW DIARY

-I’m supposed to be doing some stuff in London today, but the snivelling tossers cancelled all the trains and buses because there was a bit of snow. On the bright side, shutting down our financial services industry for a day will save the country billions.

-Some kids down the street built a gigantic snow cock. It was mighty witty, I’m not denying it, though the effort / benefit ratio was huge. They must have spent hours on it.

-Some Venezuelan ditz in London sent me a message complaining about the English climate. What did she expect? Tropical breezes? The stupid cow.

-The Guardian set up a live snow blog, which quickly got overrun with tiresome northerners saying that our snow is a poof, and congratulating themselves on living somewhere even more freezing and uninhabitable than London. Why does anyone stick it out up there? Do they enjoy all these gales and blizzards?

Take Scotland, for example. Everyone in Scotland has an EU passport. They don’t have to stay, which begs the question: why do they stay? Why does the entire population not re-locate to Tenerife?

-Some guy on The Guardian pulled rank on the northerners. Snow, you say? Well permit me, as a Canadian, to butt in here...

"... we've record amounts of snow in Toronto right now too... lots of driveway shoveling... ermmmm but yes we're used to it I guess (everyone has their own snow shovel.. indeed it's the standard big birthday present when you're 11..."

Digging snow out of your drive to get to work is very impressive, and makes you a real man. But to do this every day for three months because you lack the wit to move to a habitat fit for humans is the behaviour of a fuckhead.