MODEL OF THE DAY

I ran into Colombian supermodel Natalia Paris the other day, at a charity fashion show to raise money for paramilitary killers. She was modelling Gucci’s new range of beekeeping clothing. I was wearing my Latin Quarter hat and a t-shirt that said, “Skateboarding is not a crime.”

Nice girl, but I don't see our relationship going anywhere long term. I’d give her maybe 8 and 10 for the boat race, and 9 out of 10 for the body. But knowledge of Pushkin was 0 out of 10, so I threw her out on her ear.

Tom Raworth sent me this picture of Peter Andre going down on Hillary Clinton. If genuine, it could do enormous damage to Andre’s career, whatever it is that he does. So keep it under your hat.

Seriously, what does he do, that guy? Going around London with his shirt unbuttoned while being Australian isn’t his whole career, surely? I had the idea that he was something to do with the Liberal Democrats, but my friend Kevin says he thinks he saw him in that Riverdance thing.

Either way, I admire him a lot.



Peter Andre with a mystery woman.

KILLER FACT!

"Between 30 and 45 paparazzi work Britney on any given night."

OAF OF THE MONTH

What a frightful oaf.

UPDATE! Anyway, it isn’t even true that women go for powerful men. Even when I claim to be a Hedge Manager, Sultan of Zanzibar, etc., they still won’t let me anywhere near their action. How does “Hitchens” explain that?

And why does this kind of relationship never work the other way round? You would never catch Peter Andre giving head to Hillary Clinton, for example. Why not? I mean, from an anthropologist's point of view, why not? Someone must know.

Does anyone know how to use photoshop, by the way? This post needs a picture, to really drive that last point home.

OPPORTUNITY COST

Joseph Stiglitz has calculated the cost of the Iraq war at $3 trillion, which is more money than the average African child will see in its whole life. And even in America, many children still go to bed without shoes.

If Bush had spent that $3,000,000,000,000 on shoes, no American child would ever have to wear the same shoes more than once. Or he could have bought everyone in Iraq an Aston Martin. Those would be the actions of a madman, of course, yet still more sensible than what he actually did do.