Well I have some lines of my own, to neutralise her lines, and make sure the ice remains unbroken. Otherwise people like that will start telling you about their repulsive children, or trying to make jokes.
-“How's life?”why I hate kids? Listen, and I’ll tell you...” (By this time they will be trying to escape, but I, having foreseen this, am tugging their sleeve.) Another tactic is to be even more boring than they are. So if they start going on about about cars, you up the ante by talking about telegraph poles. I have also memorised a large number of facts about carpets.
-“Shite, as usual.”
-“How do you know the host [hostess]?”
-“I’m his probation officer.”
-“This music reminds me of my childhood.”
-“I don’t care. I wish I was dead.”
"Am I interrupting something confidential?"
-“Go and boil your head.”
-“Isn't this mousse delicious?”
-“I hate kids. Hate them. And yet I’m a teacher. Ironic, isn’t it? Fucking ironic. And do you know
