LONDON- THE SOONER THEY BLOW IT UP, THE BETTER

As you know, I recently went to South America to find myself. I needn’t have bothered- I was in Bayswater all the time. I pulled back the duvet this morning and there I was, in person. This bed has squeaky springs, and reading the Spectator sounds like vigorous masturbation. How ironic.

Just got charged £3.35 for the breakfast orange juice. Why? Because I’m in London, and that’s what squeezed fruit costs in this stinking town. There’s no economic theory to explain it, other than the theory that the inhabitants are grasping thieving swine. It needs no Keynes to tell us this. The city’s economy is based on financial services, and cheating tourists out of their loose change. The sooner they blow it up the better, in my opinion. I like those funny “red buses” though.


“Domine dirige nos.” The city’s motto. It’s Latin for “Think of a sensible price and then treble it.”