FUN AND SUNSHINE: THERE'S ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE

A beautiful tropical evening, here on the Colombian coast. This is life as it should be lived. Cocktail in hand, breezes coming in off the sea, and the murderous pounding of reggaeton through the floorboards. I like to see the young people enjoying themselves. Shakespeare put it best when he said, 'Fun and sunshine: there's enough for everyone.' A couple of people just had a fight outside my hotel door. Some harpy kept shrieking, 'Let go of his leg.'

There must have been some kind of dispute, which resulted in someone’s leg getting seized. Life is often like that.

A beautiful evening on Colombia's coast, and not even Mrs Thatcher can stop me enjoying it.


Eating lobster is good for the skin, but it isn’t any good for the lobster. I shot this one myself.

GHOULISH GLEE

Saturday Night Live have been caught using canned laughter, to create the illusion that the entertainment is entertaining.

P.G. Wodehouse once made the point that, statistically, some of the people in canned laughter tracks will have died by the time the show is broadcast. So when you watch Friends you are hearing the mummified mirth of people who died during the Clinton administration, and now lie in the earth rotting.


Joey Tribbiani cracks wise, to the hideous, chilling laughter of the undead.

OPEN THREAD

I’m away at the moment, but here is an open thread so that you, the ordinary man in the street, can have your say about the issues of the day.

Today’s issue: is it wrong to shoplift?

KILLER FACT!

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 0 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Key findings:
-There are 0 people in the U.S. named Snoop Diddy.

-While it is true that there are four Paul Krugmans, there is no such person as Adolf Blenkinsop.

-There are 503 people people named George Bush, but no one is called Orifice Bush, or George Twat.

-There is only one Hugh Janus.

NONCE ATLAS

The Sun has published a thought-provoking Nonce Map of the British Isles, showing where the UK’s sex beasts live. (Data from the probation service.)

Humberside, home to John Prescott MP, comes top, followed by Norfolk, where 83.6% of the bumpkins are now electronically tagged.



The head of the probation service said that future targets need to be more outcome-focussed and less process-based to get real staff buy-in.

CAPTION COMPETITION

UPDATE! I don’t know if this will interest you, but I actually bought a spoon this weekend, a spoon not unlike this one. I could have put the money into the property market, but I thought it was better to play it safe. Otherwise, if I lost my job or anything happened to my kids, I wouldn’t have a spoon.

UPDATE 2! I’ve just remembered that I don’t have any kids. Except to the extent that the spoon is like a son to me, the son I never had.

KILLER FACT!

Boris Johnsons’ great-grandfather was Interior Minister in the Ottoman Empire. He later had the misfortune to be stoned to death by a bunch of Turks. And to this day Johnsons himself is a quarter Turkish.


An Old Etonian Turkish Tory. He must be a crook.