INSANE HATRED OF CYCLISTS

The driver in this clip turned out to be an employee of Brazil's central bank, which has raised interest rates at all five of its policy meetings this year. The under-explored relationship between hawkish monetary policy and insane hatred of cyclists would make an interesting study.

When I first suggested filling Chicago airport with millions of bees, tended by former convicts, they all said I was mad. They said the same about Christopher Columbus.



I refused to take no for an answer. Like Luther Vandross nailing a worm to a church door, I could do no other. I’m going to fill that airport with bees, I said, whatever the cost, whoever gets hurt.



And today, my friends, that dream came true.

American shot by sniper after bicycle tour of Tripoli. You're not safe anywhere these days.

I was unable to take part in the looting this week, due to a bad back. There are strong arguments on both sides, but, on balance, I think the decision to burn down London was the correct one. And it was good to see Gloucester going up in flames.

NOT EVEN HULK HOGAN CAN PREVENT THIS ECONOMIC MELTDOWN

Let's look at some facts.



FACT 1: Ben Bernanke has more influence over economic policy than Hulk Hogan, the wrestler. I think that is probably safe to say.



FACT 2: Hulk Hogan is better at wrestling than the Fed Chair. This too is uncontroversial.



In sane world, Hulk Hogan would get Bernanke in a headlock and punch his ears until he agreed to cut interest rates. Then, a few months later, recovery! Hogan saves America.



But hold your horses, Mr Hulk. Ain't you never heard of a Liquidity Trap? Bernanke is constrained by the zero lower bound, you gristlehead, and cannot cut interest rates however much you punch his ears. He couldn't cut the Federal Funds rate if his life depended on it.



Back to the drawing board, Hulk.

THE BERNANKE GENERATOR

Flying cunt class from Bogota to Sao Paulo today, I made an important discovery. If you go through the Wall Street Journal, delete the word ``said'' from all the stories, and replace it with something else, the newspaper becomes about 15% less tedious.

For example:
-"We don't have a precise read on why this slower pace of growth is persisting," Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke whimpered.

-"We have no expectation or intention to get involved in state and local finance," Mr. Bernanke snarled.

-"This is really a political, fiscal issue," he chortled.

-"If we bail out one state, then all of the debt of all of the states is almost explicitly put on the books of the federal government," House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan yelped.

I'm trying to design The Bernanke Generator. You simply copy and paste your WSJ article, and it automatically converts it for you, free of charge. Bernanke sneered, Bernanke tittered, Bernanke roared, Bernanke guffawed, Bernanke sobbed...

Who shall decide when doctors disagree?

Brazil's government spent $9 million on a textbook which claims that ten minus seven equals four. "In reality, the correct answer is three," O Globo newspaper says, without revealing its source.

What do YOU think?