KILLER FACT!

Before the Pinochet coup, Chile was the largest producer of cocaine.

DROWNING KITTENS

Man drowning kittens in canal charged with polluting canal. Magistrates feel this is insensitive to the memory of the kitties.

Where do you drown your kittens?


Some kittens. However many I drown, there are always more coming along to take their place.

THE INSTAPUNDIT

Just strolled over to see what the Instapundit was up to. I don’t know why it should be, but many of his posts can be improved by adding a warning about bees on the end:

JANUARY 03, 2006
JIM GERAGHTY has much more on the Ukrainian / Russian natural gas imbroglio. I agree that this only makes Gerhard Schroeder look worse.

UPDATE: Run for your life! Bees!

posted at 10:51 AM by Glenn Reynolds

BRAIN HAEMORRHAGE NO LAUGHING MATTER

"[Arial Sharon's stroke] is very sad on a human level and totally negative on a political level," Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi said. “Let's hope for a miracle".

Very what on a what level? Let’s hope for a what? If this is sarcasm it’s in very poor taste at a time when poor Arik lies bleeping on a life-support machine, drooling fluids out of his nostrils. Still don’t really get the Italian sense of humour.

Mind you, I thought Bush was joking when he invaded Iraq. “Very amusing,” I thought, “an ironic take on the macho myth.” Then he was all, “We gonna bring democracy to the Middle East, and I’m like, “Good God, I had no idea you were serious.”


Drooling fluids

"WE LOVE EACH OTHER," HE SAID, AS I PUSHED HIS HEAD INTO THE TRIFLE

“It has always been a mystery to me why people marry,” said Mr Prendergast. “I can’t see the smallest reason for it. Quite happy, normal people... I don’t think that people would ever fall in love or want to be married if they hadn’t been told about it. It’s like abroad: no one would want to go there if they hadn’t been told about it.”

“I don’t think you can be quite right,” said Paul. “You see, animals fall in love quite a lot, don’t they?”

“Do they?” said Prendergast. “I didn’t know that. But then I had an aunt whose cat used to put its paw up to its mouth when it yawned. It’s wonderful what animals can be taught.” (Evelyn Waugh, Decline and Fall)

The reasons given for matrimony in the Prayer Book are:

1. The procreation of children.
2. A remedy agaynste sinne and to avoide fornication.
3. The mutual societie, helpe, and comfort, that the one ought to have of the other.

Is that it? Are those still the reasons, or have they got some new ones? John Prescott, for example, is married; did he really have trouble avoiding fornication, looking like that? Is that what they're claiming?

There's money, of course. My grandfather advised me to marry someone rich. "The woman gets old and wrinkled," he explained, "but the money always stays beautiful." This was one of his favourite aphorisms, along with "There is no such place as Australia" and "Only poofs eat cheese."

Marrying for money, however, is a zero-sum game: the extent to which one party gains the other loses. It cannot therefore justify the institution of marriage unless it can be shown to somehow increase gross domestic product, which obviously it does not.

Tradition is a possible reason, if you value tradition for its own sake. But it would make just as much sense to sacrifice goats or take up Morris Dancing. More sense, in fact, because a goat has no legal claim on your assets.

So why do people still do it? I can think of two good reasons:

1. A sense of irony.
2. It’s a nice day out.

I tossed these ideas about at dinner the other night. "But Harry," someone snivelled, "we're getting married because we love each other." "That's a non-sequitur," I replied, and pushed his foolish head into the trifle.

KILLER FACT!

ECONOMIST SOCKED ON THE SNEEZER IN FRIDGE ROW

Oh Post 1950s economy,
Why is it that you fill me with such bonhomie?

From the Ode To The Fiscal Structure Of Post-1950s Western Society With Reference To The Works of J. K. Galbraith. Read the whole thing. Or don't- it's no skin off my nose.

I once had a fist fight with JK Galbraith. True story. He was in the Red Lion in Tooting mouthing off about the world economy. “Growth is slowing,” he said, “as the housing market cools and consumers rein in their spending.” Terry the Pole overhears, and comes over from the fruit machine. “Don’t be a cunt," he says. "I’m a consumer, and I just bought a new fridge.” Then he headbutts him.

We all piled in on Pole’s side, because he had indeed bought a new fridge.