ANNOUNCEMENT

To help raise moral standards I have removed the photo of Germaine Greer's orifice from the front page. It can now be found here. Please do not view the gusset if you are a miner, or if your religion regards Germaine Greer's bits as an abomination.

I just want things to be decent.

A MILESTONE ON THE ROAD TO PEACE

To: The Israeli Embassy, London

Dear Sir,
I represent the Student Union of the University of Sheffield. We recently took the decision to recongise the State of Israel, following an acrimonious debate. Please inform the Ambassador of our decision.

What is the next step? When would be a good time to meet His Excellency for photographs?

A thousand shaloms.

Yours faithfully,

Harry Hutton


From: The Israeli Embassy - Director Public Affairs

Dear Harry,
Thanks for your email. That’s great news... we were recognized at last. I was in Sheffield twice last year - did we meet? Maybe we should organise a talk at the student Union this year again.

Dan Shaham
Director of Public affairs

WHAT A CUNT!

Just voted for Sir Ian Blair in the Cunt Of The Year Awards. Never even heard of those other cunts.

And it seems I came twelfth in the "Best of the Top 251-500 Blogs" awards. Praise doesn't come much fainter than this. Even in the top ten, most of the contestants are simply too boring to read. I could write better posts than that even if I were half asleep after eating a giant ham.


Giant hams recently. Wouldn't want to meet one of those on a dark night.

"If Australia had been colonised by any other nation but the British, it would be less racist," writes Germaine Greer in The Guardian.

It’s all very well saying that you are opposed to racial hatred, but what are you in favour of? What do you propose to replace it with- herbal tea? That’s the left’s answer to everything, and it simply doesn't work. Just look at Cuba.


Germaine Greer, in younger and happier days.

GOOD

Canadian mob boss Conrad Black to go on trial next March. Hollinger executives all howling like canaries. Gangster's moll Barbara Amiel could face the chair.

Mark Steyn is singing with the fishes.

WELCOME

Welcome to Venezuela, and have a nice... arraagh!

Killer Fact! 68.7% of visitors to Caracas are dragged from their taxis and scalped within 3 miles of the airport perimeter. Gotta say, though, I lived there for two years and no one stole so much as a tea bag from me; whereas in England scarcely a day goes by when one doesn't get burgled, mugged or punched on the ear.

DRUNKENNESS AND HOOLIGANISM HAVE NO PLACE IN AUSTRALIA

What on earth is going on in Sydney? One looks to Australians to set a good example, not brawl in the streets like huns and visigoths. I was sorely disappointed.

My nephew Kevin is reading Australian Studies at the University of Dundee: he is an expert on Australian culture. I called to ask him about root causes. He said that people who prefer Dani Minogue to her sister Kylie will be left behind, in the dustbin of history. I don't know what he's talking about.