A psychiatric report has ruled that Anders Breivik, who murdered 77 people in a killing spree, is unfit to stand trial. It turns out he's a nutter.

Twenty injured in act of 'competitive shopping'

A woman who pepper-sprayed other shoppers at the Wal-Mart in Porter Ranch had armed herself with the caustic spray to gain an advantage in the fight for merchandise at the Black Friday sale.

Excellent. A higher marginal propensity to consume among retarded Americans is precisely what is needed to get us out of this slump. I see this as a strong buy signal for stocks.

I just read Morgue for Whores, Roy Edroso's first novel.

I don't know if you can imagine a plot by Martin Amis, with dialogue by Guy Ritchie, about a crime-fighting dog. Well, it's nothing like that, mercifully. In many ways, it's the opposite of that.

You can buy it here. Three thumbs up. Recommended.

THE SAFEST INVESTMENT

The only really safe investment is wine, at times like these. If it goes up, you make a profit; and if it goes down you can drink it. Whereas when your shares or your nickel futures crash, that's that. The money has somehow vanished out of existence, as though you had you set fire to a pile of £50 notes.

Just this afternoon, while the bond markets were panicking, I invested in a case of Tesco Lambrusco Rosé Light (was £5 a bottle, now £2.35) and some Peruvian chardonnays (maison fondée en 1998; 39 Clubcard points.) These vintages could easily have doubled in value by the time I retire in 2035.

The key to understanding the Eurozone crisis is this: the ECB aren't incompetent; they are sadists. Until you've grasped that, none of it makes any sense. They want people to starve to death.

Links:
-Fine wine investments
-Tesco special offers

England, 2011

The Prime Minister, the Chancellor of the Exchequer and the Mayor of London were all in the Bullingdon Club, we're occupying Kabul, our parliament still has bishops in it, and now we’re preparing for war with the Persians.

On the other hand, it looks as though the ban on monarchs marrying papists may soon be lifted.