Inflation is running at a two-year high, but you can still buy a puff adder for £50 pounds. It isn’t all doom and gloom. Get one for your girlfriend and watch her face light up!

This economy makes no sense. I emailed Steve Levitt, author or Freak O’nomics to see if he knows the answer.

Sir, A poisonous snake costs £50, less than a train ride to York £119.50*. How do you explain that, if you’re so smart? Is it because puff adders and trains to York are “imperfect substitutes”? Ah, to hell with you. You and your damned theories.

He didn’t reply. I think I stumped him with that one. But one thing is clear: these snake traders must operate on wafer-thin margins.

Legal question: suppose I left one of these budget adders lying around my father’s house. And suppose he trod on it, and it bit the old anus, and I inherited his lands and flocks. Would that be a crime, technically? I mean, it’s an accident, right?

*Single, economy class. Mark Steel on Radio 4 said they need special training to ask for these prices with a straight face.