REVIEW

The first thing that strikes you about the iPhone4 is how unlike it is to the Reverend Ian Paisley. Its compact design and slick curves bear little resemblance to the crag-faced unionist leader. And its new operating system allows it to run more than 50,000 applications, unlike Paisley, who can’t run any applications, and whose operating system hasn’t been upgraded since his birth in 1926.

But you can’t compare Apples with Orangemen.

I just worked out a solution to the European debt crisis, but I’m not going to tell anyone what it is.