A six-year old boy in Virginia has been accused of sexual harassment:

"Randy Castro is in the First Grade. But, at the ripe old age of six, he’s been declared a sex offender... he slapped a classmate on her bottom."

Seduction guru David Deangelo writes:

"Randy has fallen at the first hurdle here. When I was six I was getting pussy left and right, and so can Randy, if he follows these simple steps.

Firstly he needs to improve his self-esteem by getting a job he enjoys, picking up some fashionable new clothes, and going to the gym to do something about his paunch. If he’s bald, Randy should wear it like it makes him who he is.

Then he needs to go to a cocktail bar and strut in like he owns the damn place. When the waitress brings him his third margarita, he should say to her "Hey, are you stalking me?"

Remember, women want what they can’t have. So instead of slapping her ass like a Turk, Randy should demonstrate lack of interest by throwing her a couple of “negs”. Negs are comments intended to lower the target’s self-esteem to the point where she will consider sleeping with you. Something like, “You don’t sweat much for a fat chick.” Or “You smell like my gardener in South Africa.” She’ll be intrigued.

Then you just talk crap about palm-reading and astrology for twenty minutes, and you’re in.

That will be $2,000, please."


A bald man with a woman. Nice work, baldy!

KISS MY SWINGERS

Delta Airlines can kiss my swingers.

HEF

Hugh Hefner is 82 today. Is there another person on the planet who has made such a monumental tit of himself over so many years? Perhaps there is a tribe in Peru that can boast an even bigger tit, but if there is I have never heard of him.

When you reach 82 it is more dignified to crap yourself in a supermarket rather than be filmed hobbling around in a dressing gown in the middle of the afternoon with a bunch of teenage sluts. I, for one, would certainly prefer to soil myself in Tesco, given the choice.

By the time Mozart was Hef’s age he had already been dead for 47 years, having composed 41 symphonies and 22 operas. Hef is still alive, and he hasn’t even written a piano sonata, the useless fuck.

Ah, you reply. But Mozart didn’t launch any magazines with grown women dressed in rabbit costumes.

Well, what of it? I never said that he did.